i`m not a gynecologist but i can give that twat a good looking at.

I take it you have had dealing with consultants, you tend to find they know all about the job except how to do it.
A typical quote:-
" You have to apply your engineering sense, look at the problem identify the cause, find a solution and impliment the plan" (No shit Sherlock)

only if he stayed at a Holiday Inn express last night