Flat hedgehogs? What do you do, run them over? Damn hedgehog hater.

no no i have seen my self swerve for any animal. but the road kill in the UK is either rabbits or hedgehogs.

Roadkill in Florida is usually opossums or armadillos. Not very many hedgehogs here. My brother paid $100 for a pet one not long ago.

One of my favourite authors, Robert Rankin, has a character called Hugo Rune (The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived), who has a theory about flattenend hedgehogs:

"Take a drive in the country during the hedgehog season and you will see the remains of thousands of them splattered across the roads. And observe just how flat they are. They must have fallen from a very great height to end up like that!

The popular explanations for these pitiful remains is that the hedgehogs have been run over by motor cars. Oh dear, oh dear. It is quite clear to me that the hedgehog, or hedge-hopping hog, as it was originally known, is a dweller of the upper atmosphere. It feeds on flying insects and the tiny fish that inhabit the Aquasphere.

The Aquasphere, as all who have read my monograph Noah's Flood : Where all the water actually came from will know, is the mile-thick outer layer of water which prevents our atmosphere from drifting away into space. Hedgehogs, which fish in this region, float about up there, remaining aloft due to the inflated sacs of natural methan which surrouds their bodies. When they die, often due to punctures recieved during rutting season, they deflate and plunge down to earth, exploding as they strike the tarmac. The fact that you never see a flat hedgehog upon a soft grassy field, bears this out and proves my point somewhat conclusively, I so believe."

i am a big reader of fiction novels.
i have never read any Robert Rankin although i have heard of him.there are not a lot of very good humorous fiction writers.i have always admired writers like Leslie Thomas and Tom Sharpe.
what do you reckon Robert Rankin`s best novel is.

I couldn't say Rankin has a BEST novel... I'd recommend starting at the beginning with The Antipope - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Antipope

Ha ha ha, wipe your lip Bamber, you are talking bull-shit....Here in NZ our Hedge Hogs never hybernate, because it doesn't get cold enough for it to be nessasary. I would love to read the whole of the story you were talking from... my granddaughters Lily'May & karlena would love it... they are like me and loves Hedgehogs

Just gotta say that I like your name. My grandmother was named Eleanor. Very classy.

hey shad if you score remember i want the right one.you said you would share.

sorry Roz just joking i could not help myself.

Are you sure Steve? My left one is slightly bigger

like i said in another blog i have a habit of going for the right one and i don`t want any head clashing accidents.

Here you go then, the right one

if this is yours, i am gonna put it on my top-desk background and lick my screen and try not to drool on my key board.i would not like to do that to a strangers boob.

Ok, that got my attention! I was just quickly scrolling through the comments when I screeched to a halt and went back while thinking did I just see what I thought I saw?

Thanks Shad I used to hate it when I was a kid, cos it was so different, but I love it now. It is my actual name - apparently my Dad wanted to call me Rose, and my Mum wanted Eleanor, so they stuck them together.