hehe

he has been touched by the hand of god...kind of

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.


Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.


When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.


He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.


He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.


This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:


"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:


"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

He looks like a Giant Sperm or a Dark Helmet crewman without his helmet.

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.


GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

beckyjohnson_22@yahoo.com
Hi dear
How are you today, I hope all is well with you .I am sorry to worry you with my Proposal for a relationship with you, but I know that you will grant my request in good faith and understanding, My name is miss becky johnson, I just went Through your profile my dear,I have no options than letting you Know that I am interested in having a relationship with you, I will also like to Know you the more, you can send an email to my email address (beckyjohnson_22@yahoo.com ) so that I can send you more details about my self Including my picture. I believe we can move from here. But bear in mind that Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no socio-economic Barrier, religious, language, nationality or distance barrier, the only important Thing there is love. I am waiting for your mail to my email address above. Yours Sincerely
becky

beckyjohnson_22@yahoo.com
Hi dear
How are you today, I hope all is well with you .I am sorry to worry you with my Proposal for a relationship with you, but I know that you will grant my request in good faith and understanding, My name is miss becky johnson, I just went Through your profile my dear,I have no options than letting you Know that I am interested in having a relationship with you, I will also like to Know you the more, you can send an email to my email address (beckyjohnson_22@yahoo.com ) so that I can send you more details about my self Including my picture. I believe we can move from here. But bear in mind that Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no socio-economic Barrier, religious, language, nationality or distance barrier, the only important Thing there is love. I am waiting for your mail to my email address above. Yours Sincerely
becky

All I Can Think Of Is...................

He's Got The Whole World In His Hands
He's Got the Whole World In His Hands
He's Got The Itty Bitty Babies In His Hands
He's Got The Wayward Skydiver In His Hands

You raise me up


so i can stand on mountains



you could also say he is high on jesus

(This comment was modified on Jun 11, 2007 04:20 PM)

saved by jesus

but you never hear the parachutists' story in the bible

just as i thought, religion always hangs you out to dry