i know im sexy but damn do you have to stare??

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

Every day I look at the obituaries, if my name's not there I laugh like a
drain!!!!

What's another word for THESAURUS?

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone……..but
they’ve always worked for me. ~ Hunter S Thompson