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From: DEVO©
Q: What do you call a man with a car on his head?
A: Jack.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: Bacon would go up.
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Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?
A: In the ark hives.
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Q: Why are lots of famous artists Dutch?
A: Because they were born in Holland.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday.
During this party,
he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests
that down in the garden of his mansion
he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
"I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY,
there is a great splash and all the guests of the party
run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can
and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping
and this guy just keeps on going.
The sharks are gaining on him
and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says,
"I am a man of my word.
Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything,
for you are the bravest man I have ever seen.
So sir what will it be?"
The guy grabs the microphone and says,
"Why don't we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!"
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Q: Why does a tiger have stripes?
A: So he won't be spotted.
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Q. When is a doll not a doll?
A. When it's a doll-ar!
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So a Skeleton walks into a bar and says,
"Barkeep, I need a beer and a mop"
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After hitting his 7th ball into the water on the 4th hole,
a father turns to his son and says,
"It takes a lot of ball to play golf the way I do."
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Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?
A: With tomato paste!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with a skunk?
A: A bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot.
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