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Telemarket Repellant
2 comments | Posted by netherdale 10 months ago
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If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.


Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.


If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"


If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."


If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"


Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.


Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"


Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .


When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.


Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up

And here is one more I do when A news paper company calls tryng to sell their paper.
I ask them to send it in braille they say sorry then hang up.
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View Profile for HeywoodHeywood
Posted on Feb 23, 2009 at 12:32 PM
797 tokens, 4.28 days wasted
Start talking to the telemarketer like in an obscene phone call.
"What are you wearing? Hunh huh . . . I've got my ***** in my hand, what do you think about that?"

If they object, yell "Hey, you called ME!"

The best person that actually does this is Tom Mabe. Search the net. (hint YouTube)

I can resist anything except temptation. Oscar Wilde

 
View Profile for videophotogvideophotog
Posted on Feb 23, 2009 at 09:40 PM
17,534 tokens, 2.02 months wasted
I told the telemarketer the other day that he called me at work and to please call me at home at 555-7189 in an hour, he eagerly agreed. 555- is a prefix they use on tv and the movies, the exchange doesn't exist.

People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

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