Konifur Goes To The Job Centre

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Konifur Goes To The Job Centre
14 comments | Posted by konifur 2 months ago

The Difference Between A Teacher Or Educator

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Being a scruffy hobo,that i am,walked into the job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE claiming welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'

The tart behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent.We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful 30 year old daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to
satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above
the garage. The salary is £70,000 a year.'
i looked wide-eyed at her dribbled a bit and said, 'You're bullshitting me,ain`t you!'
The job centre tart said, 'Yeah, well . you fucking started it.'

BUT SERIOUS FOLKS.
I APPLIED ON LINE FOR A JOB AT SAINSBURYS (A SUPERMARKET)ON MONDAY AND HAD A PHONE CALLED TODAY FOR ME TO GO FOR AN INTERVIEW ON THE 6TH NOVEMBER.TEMPORY JOB, BUT NEVER MIND.

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Bamber
Posted on Oct 09, 2008 at 06:24 AM
12,377 tokens, 1.82 months wasted

Since the closing of the milk bottling and distribution plant in Totnes the largest employer in town is the local council - the second largest is Morrisons Supermarket.

Usquequaque in fimus, tantum sublimitas varius.

Youth passes, but with luck immaturity can last a lifetime.

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konifur
Posted on Oct 09, 2008 at 06:38 AM
25,314 tokens, 1.52 months wasted

Comment in reply to Bamber's original comment

Morrisons Supermarket will stand out a bit in this sleepy little village where wizards live won`t it.

The following image was attached:

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

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Bamber
Posted on Oct 09, 2008 at 06:54 AM
12,377 tokens, 1.82 months wasted

Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

It was built (as a Safeway) in 1993 on the site of a Bacon Factory.

Usquequaque in fimus, tantum sublimitas varius.

Youth passes, but with luck immaturity can last a lifetime.

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capttomguam
Posted on Oct 09, 2008 at 07:29 AM
2,975 tokens, 2.17 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Well it looks as though we may all soon be back among the ranks of the employed. I have applied and passed the test for a Fisheries Observer position with N.O.A.A.(national oceanic atmospheric administration) and hopefully soon I'll be going to Hawaii for 5&1/2 weeks of training if accepted. You'll know when my screen changes to capttomhawaii/guam that I am starting in the program. Almost 1 year to the day out of work looking for the right pay...and they found me! It's a Federal job with benefits and I'll spend about 150 days out at sea per year!

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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konifur
Posted on Oct 09, 2008 at 07:32 AM
25,314 tokens, 1.52 months wasted

Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

great news tom.but don`t forget your laptop when you go as we can`t have you leaving us matey.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

Reply | Post New

capttomguam
Posted on Oct 09, 2008 at 07:54 AM
2,975 tokens, 2.17 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Definitly I'll take the Dell(piece of junk) and buy Betty a new Mac. Not sure but either I move Betty to HI. or commute on my off periods HI./GU.

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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DebzPage
Posted on Oct 09, 2008 at 08:58 PM
4,248 tokens, 1.45 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

Congratulations on the Job and Happy Anniversary Tom & Betty, Might I suggest that you take Betty with you Tom... she's too good a catch for you to be leaving behind in Guam... who will cook the Chili you love so much

The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

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capttomguam
Posted on Oct 09, 2008 at 11:28 PM
2,975 tokens, 2.17 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

Thank You; Picts. are on the way as soon as Betty sends them to you.

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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DebzPage
Posted on Oct 10, 2008 at 02:53 AM
4,248 tokens, 1.45 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

I'm glad you had a good time... I look forward to seeing the pictures

The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

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capttomguam
Posted on Oct 10, 2008 at 07:44 AM
2,975 tokens, 2.17 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

Hey; "Micheil Picasso Dali"....You think you could paint a spatula and a beer in the hands of Apple Annie's
photo of her daughter?
p.s.; let mi know if you got the picts!

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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DebzPage
Posted on Oct 12, 2008 at 04:21 AM
4,248 tokens, 1.45 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

Tom I need you to send me the picture and I will do it... if you can get Annie's permission

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

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Token
Posted on Oct 12, 2008 at 07:38 PM
6,838 tokens, 1.02 months wasted

Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

Hey Capt. I not as good as Debz... but check your PM's!

T.U.R.D. ( because I'm a stinker)

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capttomguam
Posted on Oct 12, 2008 at 10:58 PM
2,975 tokens, 2.17 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to Token's original comment

O.K.....

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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konifur
Posted on Oct 14, 2008 at 12:18 AM
25,314 tokens, 1.52 months wasted

Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

i went yesterday to sign on for job seekers allowance for the first time in my life i may add and the wifey who interviewed me ,when i asked if i would get any money,said " don`t hold your breath." Sheesh!so i just will have to do more begging until i find a job.(not in Totnes i my add. as i do not want a good kicking off bamber.)

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

Reply | Post New