The 10 Commandments Of Marriage

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The 10 Commandments Of Marriage
9 comments | Posted by Bamber 3 months ago

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Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven...
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand...
And divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating...
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens...
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens...
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing...
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one...
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said...
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook...
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry...
That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married...
After that, he is finished.

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Community Comments Post Comment

capttomguam
Posted on Sep 24, 2008 at 02:18 AM
2,975 tokens, 2.17 weeks wasted

I voted for it twice ! ! !

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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bloodyripper
Posted on Sep 24, 2008 at 02:24 AM
298 tokens, 1.74 weeks wasted

im getting married next year arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

A banana a day keeps the evil monkey away

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capttomguam
Posted on Sep 24, 2008 at 04:33 AM
2,975 tokens, 2.17 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to bloodyripper's original comment

Hey "B.R."; Really it ain't true! The right partner is this cat's "MEOWW!!!"

And "If you don't bet on the hand....The pot ain't worth winning!"

Go for it "B.R.", And "Best of Luck!"...it helps!

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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bloodyripper
Posted on Sep 24, 2008 at 11:52 PM
298 tokens, 1.74 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

Thanks capttomguam. i know i found a keeper and i cant wait for the day. Theres a lot of fish in the sea but all i caught was a cold up until now lol.

A banana a day keeps the evil monkey away

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videophotog
Posted on Sep 24, 2008 at 10:46 PM
17,060 tokens, 1.99 months wasted

Comment in reply to bloodyripper's original comment

They did leave out one, The Three Rings of Marriage. First is the engagement ring, the next ring is the wedding ring, and the third ring is the suffeRING!! Congrats!! I do joke about it often but if you find the right person it is all worth it. Take my wife, please! Take my wife!

People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

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bloodyripper
Posted on Sep 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
298 tokens, 1.74 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to videophotog's original comment

Cheers mate. arghhh to rings lol I had to give up my smokes, beer and a couple of other things just to save up for the wedding ring. i think ive had enough suffering for now lol

A banana a day keeps the evil monkey away

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capttomguam
Posted on Sep 25, 2008 at 12:24 AM
2,975 tokens, 2.17 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to bloodyripper's original comment

Yeah; The Wedding ring waz a big thing...Betty's real proud of it...her design! whenever I tell the jewler "small Diamond" he imeaditly reesponds "You can always Upgrade!" That S.O.B.!