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The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
Dave Barry
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
Phil Pastoret
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The following image was attached:
konifur
forgive me i am discombobulated again.
i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.
T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)