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Warning Bad Taste Jokes
10 comments | Posted by konifur 3 weeks ago
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well these made me laugh.

A history teacher asks a class full of kids 'What was Churchill famous for?'

A kid at the back shouts out, 'He was the last fucking white man to be called Winston!'
........................................

He parked in a disabled space and a traffic warden shouted to me...

'Oi, what's your disability?'

he shouted,'Tourettes! Now fuck off you twat!'
........................................
Q...What had 3 legs and lived on a farm?

A...The McCartneys

But really we shouldn't make fun of macca. After all will he ever find another woman to fill her shoe?

....................................
I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut'

.....................................

A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.

He says 'That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.

She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan !'
.......................................

A man is in a queue at walmart and sees this busty blond staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.


'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks. 'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says '
bloody hell are you the bird I shagged on me stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a toilet brush up my ass?'

'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'
.......................................

Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees sister Rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in.

'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!'

well i did warn you.


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Community Comments  Post Comment

 
View Profile for metalhed4200metalhed4200
Posted on Aug 05, 2008 at 03:22 AM
1,086 tokens, 6.67 days wasted
I don't get the 5th one, does that have something to do with soccer?

No signature.

 
View Profile for BamberBamber
Posted on Aug 05, 2008 at 03:26 AM
10,784 tokens, 1.58 months wasted
Comment in reply to metalhed4200's original comment

Hooker is a position in the game of rugby.

Usquequaque in fimus, tantum sublimitas varius.

"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
-- W. C. Fields --

The older I get the better I was.

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Aug 05, 2008 at 03:28 AM
22,284 tokens, 1.33 months wasted
Comment in reply to metalhed4200's original comment

it`s rugby the game where they play with odd shape balls.

damn the wizard beats me to it again.

(This comment was modified on Aug 05, 2008 03:30 AM)


The following image was attached:

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am confused again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for AppleAnnieAppleAnnie
Posted on Aug 05, 2008 at 11:31 PM
757 tokens, 3.7 days wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Isn't Nigel a man's name? I have no idea what Wigen is I assume it is a team. But if her name was Nigel doesn't that mean she was a he?



Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola
La-la-la-la Lola


 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Aug 06, 2008 at 12:30 AM
22,284 tokens, 1.33 months wasted
Comment in reply to AppleAnnie's original comment

wigan is a town in England with a well known rugby team.and her once being a man is the whole point of the joke.
sorry this is a very British joke.(rugby players are well known to take a bath together and i mean the whole team in a great big bath all at once. hey and it`s Wednesday today.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am confused again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for Lord-BatesLord-Bates
Posted on Aug 05, 2008 at 08:51 AM
3,206 tokens, 1.02 weeks wasted
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says '
bloody hell are you the bird I shagged on me stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a toilet brush up my ass?'


A TOILET BURSH UP THE ASS :| THAT WOULD HURT LIKE NO TOMMOROW :|

~~~CODY~~~
"When children die its just god taking them befor they have to suffer in this
world" Crystal

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Aug 06, 2008 at 12:31 AM
22,284 tokens, 1.33 months wasted
Comment in reply to Lord-Bates's original comment

all depends what end the hedgehog end or the handle end.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am confused again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for capttomguamcapttomguam
Posted on Aug 13, 2008 at 01:22 AM
2,524 tokens, 1.85 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Well somebody has to ask; "Which end do you prefer?"

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Aug 13, 2008 at 04:33 AM
22,284 tokens, 1.33 months wasted
Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

well you know me tom, i would prefer a real hedgehog.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am confused again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for capttomguamcapttomguam
Posted on Aug 13, 2008 at 09:52 PM
2,524 tokens, 1.85 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Q.) What does Aurora bathroom tissue and the Star Ship "Enterprise" have in common?
A.) They both orbit Uranus in search of "Klingons!"
G R O A N ! ! ! !

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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