Hey Annie! Class 3 and 11 are missing!

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat And Avoiding The Floor, Walls And Nearby Bathtub? - Group Practice.
Meets 4 Weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM For 2 Hours

Class 11
Learning To Live - Basic Difference Between Mother And Wife.
Online Classes And Role Playing.
Tuesday At &:00 PM, Location To Be Determined

Summer classes for women.

Due the obviously simple and rational practices taught in these classes, class sizes will be limited to one student.

Class 1
Financial self-control 101 , or "How not to buy that purse/shoes/cute top/ etc. when you don't have the need or the money for it". Cost of enrollment - How ever much credit you have left on the one card you haven't maxed out yet.

Class 2
Navigation 101 - You will learn how to find your way around using street signs and not arbitrary landmarks. Location - Left at the green building, no not that one the other one then go straight by the house that looks like my aunt esther's house when I was 7. Take another left at that one gas station that sells the chocolate cappuccinos. Go just a little bit further and you will almost be there.

Class 3
Nagging - You will learn that the amount of nagging is inversely proportional to the likelihood of it actually getting done.

Class 4
Self esteem - No that dress does not make your ass look big

Class 5
Sexuality 101 - If you don't want him to go out with his friends, give him a better reason to stay home than watching some asinine romantic comedy

Class 6
Bathroom Politics 101 - Although both actions are pretty simple, it's actually easier for you to put the toilet seat down than it is for us to lift it, since gravity does most of the work. Also if you don't want those fancy towels to be used after washing our hands, then don't put them out, otherwise we'll just stop washing our hands (which we do rather inconsistently anyway).

Class 7
Food preparation - Kitchen: if you want meat and potatoes then we are happy to cook, if you want salad and quiche you are on your own, we'll just make some meat and potatoes for ourselves on the grill

Class 8
Bathroom Politics 201 (prerequisite: Bathroom Politics 101) - You will learn that leaving your monthly hygiene products on top of the garbage is gross. You will also learn that leaving your pantyhose, bras, etc. on the shower curtain rod to dry out won't work since we won't remove them when we take a shower and they'll just get wet again.

Class 9
Sexuality 201 (prerequisites: Sexuality 101, Self-esteem) - Those magazines you found in their very well hidden place in the garage don't mean we don't find you attractive anymore, but due to your frequent headaches and not-in-the mood moments, we find it to be easier to hide away from you for about 5 mins than stare at you from the couch wearing nothing but a grin.

Class 10
Financial Self-control 201 (prerequisite: Financial Self-control 101) - You make as much money as me so just because all your credit cards are maxed out and ours aren't doesn't mean that we agree that you HAVE TO HAVE that purse/shoes/cute top/etc. and will max our cards out to get it. Cost of enrollment - free if you passed FS-c 101 (no students expected)

Class 11
Navigation 201 (prerequisite: Navigation 101) - You will learn that grabbing our leg and screeching "LOOK OUT!" every 30 seconds is more likely to cause a serious accident than hitting that twig/stray cat/dead rabbit/soda bottle/ etc. If it is something that actually is dangerous, don't worry, we see it too.

More classes too be added after I find my keys... GOD DAMN IT WHERE ARE THEY???!!!!

Comment in reply to metalhed4200's original comment

I am sorry Mr Metalhed... I have a note from my Mummy

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Comment in reply to metalhed4200's original comment

Yes Sir, Mr Metalhed!!!I am working on it right now

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