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Rules To Make Her Happy
6 comments | Posted by sweetbirdy 2 months ago
Inspired By Konifer
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For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is. In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...

Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties
You make the bed.................................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets......................-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....................................-5

You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty.................0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex......-1
When the Kleenex runs out u shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You check out a suspicious noise at night ........................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing.................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something..............+5
You pummel it with a six iron...................................+10
It's her father.................................................-10

Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party.............................0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy...................................................-2
Named Tiffany....................................................-4
Tiffany is a dancer..............................................-6
Tiffany has implants.............................................-8

Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner........................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ............+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.........................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night...................................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team........................-10

Thoughtfulness
You forget her birthday completely..............................-20
You forget your anniversary.....................................-30
You forget to pick her up at the bus station....................-45
Which is in Newark, New Jersey..................................-50
And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast.....................-60

A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal ...............................................-5
And the pal is happily married ..................................-4
Or frighteningly single .........................................-7
And he drives a Mustang.........................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) ..................-15
You have a few beers.............................................-9
And miss curfew by an hour......................................-12
You miss curfew by an hour and you didn't call..................-20
You get home at 3 am............................................-30
You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars ........-40

Her Night Out
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from
work.............................................................+5
She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home real late.......................................................+10
You wait up.....................................................+15
She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed.............................................................+20

A Night Out
You take her to a movie..........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes................................+4
You take her to a movie you hate ................................+6
You take her to a movie you like.................................-2
It's called DeathCop 3...........................................-3
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans ..........-15

Flowers
You buy her flowers only when it's expected...................... 0
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it .....+20
You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself .......+30
And she contracts Lyme disease..................................-25

Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it.+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts...........................................-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too".........-800

Finances
You spend a lot of money on something impractical................-5
Something she can't use.........................................-10
Such as a motorized model airplane..............................-20
And she got a small appliance for her birthday..................-40

Driving
You lost the directions on a trip................................-4
You lost the directions and end up getting lost.................-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town ..................-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and
personal........................................................-25
You know them...................................................-60

The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?" ......................................-5
(Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding......................................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................................-35

Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying
what looks like a concerned expression............................0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20

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Community Comments  Post Comment

 
View Profile for metalhed4200metalhed4200
Posted on Jul 22, 2008 at 01:13 PM
1,092 tokens, 6.73 days wasted
I don't like your point system so here's mine...

Arguements.


She argues with you about something so asinine you give up and go have a beer...... +100 'cause beer is good

She argues with you about something so asinine but you win and go have a beer...... +100 'cause beer is good

Sex

You have some sex then a beer....... +100 'cause beer is good

Romance

You have some sex then a beer....... +100 'cause beer is good

Your physique

You drink beer........ +100 'cause beer is good

A night out

You go have beer somewhere other than home........ +100 'cause beer is good

Finances

You buy some beer....... +100 'cause beer is good

Flowers

Beer is made from barley....... +100 'cause beer is good

Thoughtfulness

She buys you your favorite beer....... +100,000,000 'cause beer is good and you found a wife

No signature.

 
View Profile for sweetbirdysweetbirdy
Posted on Jul 22, 2008 at 01:19 PM
7,856 tokens, 3.2 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to metalhed4200's original comment

OK OK we are even,,,,OK???

For you my friend may you find that wife!!!

I'll continue to enjoy my cognac!!

Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they
grow.

--Oliver Wendell Holmes

Scio Mihi Est Delecto Mihi


 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Jul 23, 2008 at 12:54 AM
22,630 tokens, 1.35 months wasted
Comment in reply to sweetbirdy's original comment

there is not many ways to get pluses i am going to be very lonely.

O O O,i thought of a 60+ one.....
You take her to a porn movie and slip your hand down her pants and give her a twiddle.

G.L.I.A

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am confused again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Jul 23, 2008 at 12:50 AM
22,630 tokens, 1.35 months wasted
Comment in reply to metalhed4200's original comment



nice one mate.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am confused again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for TokenToken
Posted on Jul 23, 2008 at 06:21 PM
6,281 tokens, 3.86 weeks wasted
Peach/Pear pie = Laundry service for the next week!

T.U.R.D. ( because I'm a stinker)

 
View Profile for sweetbirdysweetbirdy
Posted on Jul 23, 2008 at 06:32 PM
7,856 tokens, 3.2 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to Token's original comment

Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they
grow.

--Oliver Wendell Holmes

Scio Mihi Est Delecto Mihi


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