Air Traffic Communications

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Air Traffic Communications
3 comments | Posted by konifur 18 months ago

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Tower: 'TWA 2341 , for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.'

TWA 2341: 'Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?'

Tower: 'Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?'

**********************

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: 'I'm fucking bored!'

Ground Traffic Control: 'Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!'

Unknown aircraft: 'I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!'
*****************************************

A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): ' Ground, what is our start clearance time?'

Ground (in English): 'If you want an answer you must speak in English. '

Lufthansa (in English): 'I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?'

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): 'Because you lost the bloody war!'

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Lord-Bates
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 at 06:58 AM
3,213 tokens, 1.06 weeks wasted

well they have to make there jobs more interesting some how

~~~CODY~~~
"When children die its just god taking them befor they have to suffer in this
world" Crystal

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Bamber
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 at 07:11 AM
13,293 tokens, 1.93 months wasted

My favourite:

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Fort Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am." the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

Usquequaque in fimus, tantum sublimitas varius.

Youth passes, but with luck immaturity can last a lifetime.

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