Minodude S Guide To Lying

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Minodude S Guide To Lying
25 comments | Posted by minodude 21 months ago

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I forgot about not having apostrophes in the title. Good thing I planned ahead and copied this before I submitted it.
Its 11pm, i have homework to do, but I decided I will write this guide to lying instead. This guide is meant to be both helpful and funny, and I might update it later if I think of new things. Remember:This was created by ME: MINODUDE! Please don't steal.

1) Simple is the best. Keep your lies short and simple. Make them over-complex, and you have the chance to forget/change parts of your story, and people will realize you were lying. Also, the more complicated it is, the lesser of a chance people will believe it. Example: (good) I was driving when a truck flashed its highbeams, and I blindly drove off the road into a ditch. (bad) After that, an escaped inmate from the local jail smashed my car with a baseball bat!

2) No Witnesses. Make sure that no one can provide evidence against your lie. Example: Person A: I was out shopping. Person B: But I saw you at the strip club.

3) Nobody is perfect. In your lies, don't make yourself perfect. Add a small fault that won't affect the lie too much, but that will make people think you arent lying.

4) Act Natural. Many bad liers have an "acting voice" that they use, an obvious change in pitch or tone that is different than their normal talk. When telling a lie, don't try to act like your giving a speech (unless you actually are). Talk like you normally would, in your normal voice, not like you are reading from a mental script. If you are normally not very descriptive when you talk, do not tell a lie full of wonderful descriptions.

5) Repeat. Don't tell your lie to everybody, but don't be afraid to tell it to those who ask or want to know. Just make sure to keep the lie the same!

6) Plan, but don't over-plan. This rule is the hardest, and varies from person to person. Think of a good lie, but don't think TOO much into it, because it has a chance of ruining the lie. Some people are better at thinking on their feet, and won't plan out their lie at all. Find what is comfortable with you, using trial and error.

7) Avoid cliches. Everyone knows "my dog ate my homework". Think of common things (rule 1), but not cliches. Good examples: "I left it on my desk/printer", "We had a giant family dinner last night and I could not finish my paper", "I tried to get here on time, but I missed every light and traffic was aweful", "the power went out".

8) Trust no one. Do not tell anyone the truth, just tell everyone the lie. Telling one person the truth can come back and bite you in the ass. The guilt goes away after a few days.

9) Nobody is perfect, part 2. I cannot think of a specific rule for this, so here is an example: Tell your parents that you were at a party. Tell them that a little alchohol was served. Don't tell them about the weed, or about the rampant sex. If you tell your parents nothing, they will assume that a) everything happened, and b) you never tell the truth.

and remember: this is MY list! Dont steal it!

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minodude
Posted on Apr 21, 2008 at 11:15 PM
19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

I really want your honest opinions on this. I realize that too many people here are too old to put this to use, but still...

Also, is this common knowledge for everyone? Did you learn anything new?

Just Kidding!!

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hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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