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Fire Escape (joke)
40 comments | Posted by konifur 21 months ago
Head & Shoulders (joke)
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A Brunette, a Blonde, and a Redhead escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Blonde .

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Blonde .

"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Blonde !"

"OK" says the Blonde , and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Redhead steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Redhead.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the Redhead says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it...."

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View Profile for capttomguamcapttomguam
Posted on Apr 13, 2008 at 07:54 AM
3,273 tokens, 2.38 weeks wasted
More Outrageous

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

 
View Profile for OrangeJuiceOrangeJuice
Posted on Apr 13, 2008 at 07:55 AM
1,513 tokens, 1.73 weeks wasted


You make me laugh lots with all your redheads Steve!

"Blessed is the man who expects nothing,
for he shall never be disappointed"
-- Alexander Pope

 
View Profile for capttomguamcapttomguam
Posted on Apr 13, 2008 at 06:45 PM
3,273 tokens, 2.38 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to OrangeJuice's original comment

I'll bet you "Sweets" and "Debz" ain't laughing!

(This comment was modified on Apr 13, 2008 06:46 PM)

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 08:35 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

You bet Sweets & I aint laughing Tom!!!... We have made friends with THE BEAR!!! And WE are of the same opinion!!!!


The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for bkvestalbkvestal
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 08:38 AM
7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 09:51 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to bkvestal's original comment

Good idea huh Bri?

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for bkvestalbkvestal
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 12:19 PM
7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

Excellent idea

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 05:15 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to bkvestal's original comment

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for bkvestalbkvestal
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 05:16 AM
7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 09:59 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

AHHHH that`s him , thats him ,thats the buggering bear!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHH keep him away from me i promise to be good from now on ahhhhhhhh!

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 10:20 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

He's Pissed Steve... his girlfriend is a red head and you have hurt her feelings Mate.... you had better try telling her how pretty she is...


The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 10:24 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

actually she is cute, all reds are cute.
i don`t know where you get the idea i don`t like red heads.
i love red heads, ginger muff and all.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 10:41 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

THE BEAR said that he is OK with that .... I think.... nope he's not he said that you are flirting with her and he wants to have a wee PRIVATE TALK with you.... careful Steve he's been working out abit since you were his 'boy'


The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for sweetbirdysweetbirdy
Posted on Apr 14, 2008 at 11:04 AM
8,708 tokens, 3.55 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Your promises mean NOTHING anymore!! You have broken everyone you have made in the last 3 months !

Maybe it's time Debz & I talk to Tito about your
attitude?? Maybe you need an adjustment my friend?


I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own
ass, okay?
Denis Leary

'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.' ~
Einstein








 
View Profile for TokenToken
Posted on Apr 15, 2008 at 12:02 AM
7,021 tokens, 1.04 months wasted
Comment in reply to sweetbirdy's original comment

T.U.R.D. ( because I'm a stinker)

"We are just 3 little brain cells, trying to find our way in the world."

 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 06:03 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to Token's original comment

I guess the Bear has really been working out HUH Token?

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for TokenToken
Posted on Apr 20, 2008 at 04:48 AM
7,021 tokens, 1.04 months wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment










T.U.R.D. ( because I'm a stinker)

"We are just 3 little brain cells, trying to find our way in the world."

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Apr 15, 2008 at 07:51 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted
Comment in reply to sweetbirdy's original comment

i have been ,bear buggered,bum raped,washed up nekkid on a froggy beach,locked up nekkid in an English jail, duped and left penniless in a desert.and now i`m gonna get my ass kicked by two red headed multimillionaire amazons. phew i need a rest and you still don`t believe i am going to be a good lad.ok come and get me i am tired of running.i will take whats coming.*curls up in a ball and grits teeth.*

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 05:01 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

ya know when I look at it that way Konifur.... I think I am happy to just let you go on beating yourself up... it was while you were trying to run away from Sweets and I that all these things happened.... so it proves that if you are willing to go through all these things.... then... maybe... you... don't.... like.... me


The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for sweetbirdysweetbirdy
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 05:06 AM
8,708 tokens, 3.55 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

if he wants to submit then let him... I think it's time........ he was no good as a bear hugging camper, pirate life was too hard for him and the cowboy stint was just that a STINT.. Now he knows who rules !!!!!

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own
ass, okay?
Denis Leary

'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.' ~
Einstein








 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 05:57 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to sweetbirdy's original comment

Do i want to be friends with someone that goes to that much trouble to avoid my company Sweets... He doesn't...like...me...


The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for bkvestalbkvestal
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 05:19 AM
7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

But, I like you.

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 06:01 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to bkvestal's original comment

Thankyou Bri.... you are so good to me... you are a wonderful TOYboy

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for bkvestalbkvestal
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 06:07 AM
7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 07:44 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

no it`s not that i din`t like you it`s that i am a unlucky smart arsed cowardly lion .but i love living on the edge....

Down at the edge, close by a river.
Close to the edge, round by the corner.
Close to the end, down by the corner.
Down at the edge, round by the river.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for BamberBamber
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 07:53 AM
13,293 tokens, 1.93 months wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Yes!


The following image was attached:

Usquequaque in fimus, tantum sublimitas varius.

Youth passes, but with luck immaturity can last a lifetime.

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Apr 17, 2008 at 08:10 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted
Comment in reply to Bamber's original comment

i knew you would know that one as i`m sure you have posted Yes album covers in the past.i don`t mean THE yes album cover i mean a yes album cover.you know what i mean,others will think i have lost the plot.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 19, 2008 at 04:18 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

You would rather beat yourself up than be with us girls...Brother Bear said you didn't run away from him in the hills


The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Apr 19, 2008 at 09:35 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

shall i tell you what happened in the woods well it went like this..........

Bri and i were walking through the woods and Bri spotted a vicious-looking bear. Bri immediately opened his nap sack, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.I looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"

"I don't have to," Bri replied. " I only have to outrun you." and he did.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 19, 2008 at 09:44 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

I want to be friends Steve....not be rattled anymore...YOU?

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Apr 19, 2008 at 09:57 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

YIPPEE! I`M LOVED AGAIN!!!!!

if you want any blubbering done i`m you boy.




* runs around pulling all the wank wipes from the walls*

you are welcome in my room any time.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 06:11 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Lets be bad and see if someone will send us there huh?


The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for sweetbirdysweetbirdy
Posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 06:18 AM
8,708 tokens, 3.55 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

Both You TROUBLEMAKERS jst love the drama don't you's? Debz get your ass in in Mino's room & help Konifur,,, He has a BROOM with your name on it !!!!


What??? You said, let's ...Oh never mind !! .....

You didn't say WHAT room !!

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own
ass, okay?
Denis Leary

'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.' ~
Einstein








 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 09:43 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to sweetbirdy's original comment

Agggghhhhhh NOOOOOOOoooooo!!!! I can't go into a young mans room.... No don't make me..... I had a teenage son... his room was smell and horrible!!! Please don't make me Sweets

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for konifurkonifur
Posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 11:42 PM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

ugh!there is a used deflated rubber doll under the bed debz ,shall i throw it out the window.ahhhh it`s stuck to the floor.
ooh why has sweets sent us to clean minos room.
we have not been that bad.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)



 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 23, 2008 at 05:33 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

YEAH WE ARE FREE!!!!! Sweets... Konifur and I were thrown out of Mino's room and he hung this on the door... We are going to go play somewhere else....'Com'on Konifur'


The following image was attached:

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for bkvestalbkvestal
Posted on Apr 23, 2008 at 05:49 AM
7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

"We're"? what him and that rubber doll. The long lost love from under the bed.

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

 
View Profile for DebzPageDebzPage
Posted on Apr 24, 2008 at 07:09 AM
5,270 tokens, 1.83 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to bkvestal's original comment

Yup that's right Bri... they say you never realLY forget your first.... guess HE hasn't huh?

I keep pressing 'Escape' But I'm still here....
A Proud V Double B
T.U.R.D. Madame President
N.S.B.A.P.O.I. South Pacific Member
and competent 'Fat Knacker Dancer'

 
View Profile for TokenToken
Posted on Apr 20, 2008 at 04:47 AM
7,021 tokens, 1.04 months wasted
Comment in reply to konifur's original comment









still laughing

T.U.R.D. ( because I'm a stinker)

"We are just 3 little brain cells, trying to find our way in the world."

 
View Profile for TokenToken
Posted on Apr 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
7,021 tokens, 1.04 months wasted
Comment in reply to DebzPage's original comment

T.U.R.D. ( because I'm a stinker)

"We are just 3 little brain cells, trying to find our way in the world."

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