The Pretzel Hold (joke) 4 comments | Posted by konifur 26 months ago

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A Russian and a Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished." The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands - he couldn't watch the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, and then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, He asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The Irish wrestler answered "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."
So the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"
"Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts."

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bkvestal Posted on Mar 08, 2008 at 06:09 AM 7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted

---

The following image was attached:

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

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konifur Posted on Mar 08, 2008 at 06:24 AM 26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted

Comment in reply to bkvestal's original comment

is that some sort of award for me it`s super safe i never got hurt at all with this on hey i pushed it in my face and i did not poke my eye.
but

it has nothing wrote on it so i don`t know what it`s for.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

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bkvestal Posted on Mar 08, 2008 at 07:42 AM 7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Yeah I need to tweak them out somehow.

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

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sweetbirdy Posted on Mar 08, 2008 at 08:58 PM 8,708 tokens, 3.55 weeks wasted

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own
ass, okay?
Denis Leary

'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.' ~
Einstein

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