I went into a pet shop, and asked "can I buy a goldfish?" The man in the shop said "do you want an aquarium?" I said, I don't care what star sign it is!"
I met a man today who told me that he invented the crossword puzzle. I can't remember his name, but it was P something T something R!
I telephoned the local ramblers club today, and the person that answered the phone just went on and on and on and on!
I told my wife that there was a job going at the local bowling alley. "Tenpin?" she asked. "No" I replied, "I think it's full time."
I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said "nearest the bull goes first". He went "Baah" and I went "Moo"... He said "you're the closest!"
I rang the local gym, and asked whether they could teach me to do the splits. "How flexible are you?" they asked... "Well I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
And finally...
I asked the railway booking clerk for a train ticket to Paris. "Eurostar?" he asked... "Well, I've been on TV, but I'm no Frank Sinatra!"
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ass, okay?
Denis Leary
'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.' ~
Einstein