Mental Hospital Phone Menu

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Mental Hospital Phone Menu
11 comments | Posted by AppleAnnie 14 months ago

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Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done .....Your turn)

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Community Comments Post Comment

sweetbirdy
Posted on Nov 08, 2007 at 03:49 AM
8,529 tokens, 3.46 weeks wasted

I have this as my voice mail messg,,,

I have no telemarketers calling me.. I have it on my cell as well as my landline!!!
It makes everybody crazy when they have to sit & listen to the whole thing,,,,just to leave me a messg...

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own
ass, okay?
Denis Leary

'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.' ~
Einstein

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hunnybunny
Posted on Nov 08, 2007 at 07:47 AM
8,950 tokens, 3.24 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to sweetbirdy's original comment

NICE lol

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is
a husband.

http://www.myspace.com/donna28

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AppleAnnie
Posted on Nov 09, 2007 at 08:52 PM
1,174 tokens, 5.08 days wasted

Comment in reply to sweetbirdy's original comment

My daughter saw this. The first words out of her mouth were, I found my knew phone message. She pasted it into Word and printed it out and is in the process of editing it and grabbing her favorites parts.

Life's a bitch and then you die, so sit down, shut up, hang on and enjoy the
ride.
=^_^=

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minodude
Posted on Nov 09, 2007 at 09:34 PM
19,354 tokens, 3.57 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to AppleAnnie's original comment

how old is your daughter?

you live less than an hour from pudget sound you say?

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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AppleAnnie
Posted on Nov 09, 2007 at 09:59 PM
1,174 tokens, 5.08 days wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

I live in Lynnwood and my daughter is 20. She graduated 2 year ago. We used to live in Gold Bar. And still go to Monroe from time to time. My 25 year old son like larping and they have weekend long events at the boyscout camp at Lake Rosenger and we stop for lunch at the Red Robin by Fred M. on the way home.

Life's a bitch and then you die, so sit down, shut up, hang on and enjoy the
ride.
=^_^=

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minodude
Posted on Nov 09, 2007 at 10:03 PM
19,354 tokens, 3.57 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to AppleAnnie's original comment

i meant in a stalker-sort of way

but thats cool

have you ever been to the sultan bakery? when we go to steven's pass we always stop there

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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AppleAnnie
Posted on Nov 09, 2007 at 10:09 PM
1,174 tokens, 5.08 days wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

Yes they have good food. We lived in Sultan for about a year.
Have you eaten at the Alpen They have delicious food. It was my favorite place to eat.

The Pizza place by the bakery is good to.

Life's a bitch and then you die, so sit down, shut up, hang on and enjoy the
ride.
=^_^=

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minodude
Posted on Nov 09, 2007 at 11:20 PM
19,354 tokens, 3.57 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to AppleAnnie's original comment

we only stop in sultan for like 10 minutes, tops

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

Reply | Post New

AppleAnnie
Posted on Nov 10, 2007 at 12:17 AM
1,174 tokens, 5.08 days wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

The Alpen is a drive-in on the highway just before Startup. It is an A-frame building and looks Bavarian. Awesome milkshakes or malts made from scratch with real fruit or peanut butter, caramel etc. They have meat burgers, Garden burgers, fried shrimp and clams just to name a few items. Bug your parents to stop when you go past they will be glad you did.

Life's a bitch and then you die, so sit down, shut up, hang on and enjoy the
ride.
=^_^=

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minodude
Posted on Nov 10, 2007 at 12:35 AM
19,354 tokens, 3.57 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to AppleAnnie's original comment

and this is in sultan? is it on the main roaD?

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

Reply | Post New

AppleAnnie
Posted on Nov 10, 2007 at 01:39 AM
1,174 tokens, 5.08 days wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

On Hwy 2 a few miles east past Sultan on the north side of the highway... The bus to Gold Bar goes past it. Something exciting to do when you want to get away from the excitement of Monroe. Snicker... found the phone number on-line 793-0811 36023 State Route 2 ... I think it is still there. Haven't been up that far in a year or two. Startup is about a block long. Pretty much one corner with buildings on all four corners. There is a trailer park on the south side of the road across from the Alpen. A couple of yards past the Alpen is a corner with a plant nursery (closed in winter) on the SW corner. A small grocery on the SE corner with gas pumps out front & a bar/restaurant, an old church/gift shop with a tall steeple on the NE corner & on the NW corner is a lady that sells crafts out of her home.

Life's a bitch and then you die, so sit down, shut up, hang on and enjoy the
ride.
=^_^=

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