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European English
7 comments | Posted by Bamber 29 months ago

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Europe English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen der world!

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SoR_AWC
Posted on Aug 24, 2007 at 07:00 AM
7,473 tokens, 1.05 months wasted

The Image was unrequired.

Anything glorifying the nazi's is bad. shame on you.

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minodude
Posted on Aug 24, 2007 at 07:28 AM
19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

enkorage

this should be enkourage, as theres no rule to taking out the "u"

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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Bamber
Posted on Aug 24, 2007 at 07:38 AM
13,293 tokens, 1.93 months wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

You win proofreader of the week!
And a chocolate sundae.

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Usquequaque in fimus, tantum sublimitas varius.

Youth passes, but with luck immaturity can last a lifetime.

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konifur
Posted on Aug 25, 2007 at 12:45 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted

Comment in reply to Bamber's original comment

those bastards bombed our chippie.

i will stick to good old English.

those bastards still hog the sunbeds.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

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psychomatt
Posted on Aug 25, 2007 at 09:34 PM
127 tokens, 2.69 days wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

Since the "o" is dropped, it would be enkurage.

(This comment was modified on Aug 25, 2007 09:35 PM)

(This comment was modified on Aug 25, 2007 09:35 PM)

(This comment was modified on Aug 25, 2007 09:35 PM)

I do not agree with a word that you say, but will defend to the death your right
to say it.
--falsely attributed to Voltaire, but likely a statement he would have agreed
with.

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