For All The Moms Out There. 9 comments | Posted by kiepay 33 months ago

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A Mother's Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

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minodude Posted on May 10, 2007 at 03:55 PM 19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

i still need to read this, so i know now that bottle feeding means: the bottle is empty

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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alex657684 Posted on May 10, 2007 at 06:30 PM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

i liked to lick the cake mix, icing, and such from the blender things too.......

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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Monkey Posted on May 10, 2007 at 11:07 PM 9,202 tokens, 3.62 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

Me too until one day I forgot to unplug the damn thing.

Wealth ≠ Intelligence

Official Short Bus Handler

The True Warrior is one who conquers oneself

Heaven is having sex all the time and not needing Kleenex or coat hangers.

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Bamber Posted on May 11, 2007 at 12:56 AM 13,293 tokens, 1.93 months wasted

Comment in reply to Monkey's original comment

Got tongue tied, huh?

Usquequaque in fimus, tantum sublimitas varius.

Youth passes, but with luck immaturity can last a lifetime.

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alex657684 Posted on May 11, 2007 at 06:51 AM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to Monkey's original comment

i know i shouldn't laugh, but that's damn funny.

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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sweetbirdy Posted on May 10, 2007 at 06:37 PM 8,708 tokens, 3.55 weeks wasted

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own
ass, okay?
Denis Leary

'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.' ~
Einstein

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videophotog Posted on May 10, 2007 at 10:39 PM 17,534 tokens, 2.02 months wasted

Oh, I know so many of these first hand!

People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

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konifur Posted on May 11, 2007 at 01:05 AM 26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted

bottled milk is ok, but breast milk comes in better containers

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

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Sarah Posted on May 12, 2007 at 01:39 AM 11,949 tokens, 2.26 months wasted

HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY !!!!!

I have 3 cats & a 30 year old man-child. I'm a psuedo mommy.
Does that count ?
lol


I had contractions, every 5 minutes (roughly), for 2 months. Only, I didn't get a kid out of the deal.
*sigh*

I don't hang out here much anymore...

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