Academic Bullshit Phrases Completed

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Academic Bullshit Phrases Completed
8 comments | Posted by likeaneagle 34 months ago

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From: DEVO©

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you
understand
the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are
also
applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS
TO THE QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to
get
it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...
The other results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"...
I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...
A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ..
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"...
Rumor has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE
OF THESE FINDINGS"...
A really wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"...
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a beer
glass.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED
BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"...
I don't understand it....and I never will.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"...
They don't understand it either.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"...
A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER
INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"...
I am pleased to feed you bullshit.'

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Community Comments Post Comment

alex657684
Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 10:07 AM
11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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minodude
Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 03:35 PM
19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

i should start using these phrases when i do science labs

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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minodude
Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 03:35 PM
19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

i should start using these phrases when i do science labs

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

Reply | Post New

minodude
Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 03:35 PM
19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

i should start using these phrases when i do science labs

i swear, i only hit the "post" button once

(This comment was modified on Apr 18, 2007 03:40 PM)

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

Reply | Post New

likeaneagle
Posted on Apr 18, 2007 at 06:22 PM
14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

you made your point, your point, your point!!!!

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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capttomguam
Posted on Apr 20, 2007 at 06:32 AM
3,273 tokens, 2.38 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

I had the same prob....my hard-drive was faulty and kept recycling....I almost threw my new-wiz bang lap top through the wall...thank God for Miss "BETTY"...check your warrenty....I am SURE that you know much more about computers than I will ever know...do you have other probs???? I Got a List of Symptoms!!!

(This comment was modified on Apr 20, 2007 06:33 AM)

Capt. TOM
"CARPE DIEM"

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minodude
Posted on Apr 20, 2007 at 05:25 PM
19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to capttomguam's original comment

nope

but you didnt solve my problem in the first place

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

Reply | Post New