What I Learned From Watching Porn Rated R 18 comments | Posted by likeaneagle 35 months ago

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've Learned From Watching Porn
1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
scream
with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with
sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo
in
the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl
isn't
disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the
bushes,
the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove
your
cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by
giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
she'll
only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to
remind
her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's
trousers
and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand
firmly
on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his
hip.

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Community Comments  Post Comment

SoR_AWC Posted on Mar 23, 2007 at 05:49 PM 7,473 tokens, 1.05 months wasted

7... If their Tinkler is in their Throat like Linda Lovelace

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turdman Posted on Mar 23, 2007 at 05:50 PM 374 tokens, 3.91 days wasted

lol

a person: girls are more useful for things then just cooking u know

me: CLEANING!!!!

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WileyWeasel Posted on Mar 23, 2007 at 05:53 PM 12,901 tokens, 3.05 weeks wasted

#1 must be true, because they are always buying new sheets and the stores are always having white sales....those high heels tear those sheet up all the time......

What's another word for THESAURUS?

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone……..but
they’ve always worked for me. ~ Hunter S Thompson

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alex657684 Posted on Mar 23, 2007 at 06:06 PM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

So I'm an over achiever then?


28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

maybe she's found a surprise before......

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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ramrock Posted on Mar 23, 2007 at 06:29 PM 6,150 tokens, 1.48 months wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

maybe she has found a dead mouse before

I had a signature here just a minute ago..............

darn dogs must have chewed it up

We have wet noses and we will lick your face

and we are sissy la-la dogs
(big babies)

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likeaneagle Posted on Mar 23, 2007 at 08:30 PM 14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

ok! you called my bluff! id like to see if youre an over- achiever

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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alex657684 Posted on Mar 26, 2007 at 11:58 AM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to likeaneagle's original comment

you going to pay for the ticket?

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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likeaneagle Posted on Mar 26, 2007 at 12:46 PM 14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

bloody oath mate!

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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chevyracngirl Posted on Mar 26, 2007 at 04:43 AM 417 tokens, 22.6 hours wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

overacheivers are always appreciated...unless it sucks, then its just boring

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?

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alex657684 Posted on Mar 26, 2007 at 11:58 AM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to chevyracngirl's original comment

i feel people should be required to get a degree in oral sex.

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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chevyracngirl Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 05:55 AM 417 tokens, 22.6 hours wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

my friend says his big brother told him when he was little that he wouldn't get anywhere if he didn't learn how to lick p***y


and its true

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?

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alex657684 Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 09:42 AM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to chevyracngirl's original comment

i learnd fast

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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chevyracngirl Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 10:35 AM 417 tokens, 22.6 hours wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

i assume you are going places then??

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?

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alex657684 Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 11:51 AM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to chevyracngirl's original comment

i go places, yes

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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chevyracngirl Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 12:46 PM 417 tokens, 22.6 hours wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?

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minodude Posted on Mar 23, 2007 at 07:14 PM 19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

born and raised on that stuff

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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konifur Posted on Mar 24, 2007 at 06:22 AM 26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted

i like these they are so true.

NOW stop watching the porn you will go blind.
you are naughty.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
hooray i thought my sex days where over.

26. Assholes are clean.
bleached.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

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fukkad Posted on Dec 11, 2007 at 05:15 AM 500 tokens, 21.6 hours wasted

31. woman grunts n swallows as soon as she sees a black/white d*ck!?.

32. .........................

Hot & Spicy http://celebCURRY.com/
Bootylicious http://wowbooty.com/

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