Fart Calendar 31 comments | Posted by Bamber 35 months ago

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What type of farter are you? Check against the day of the month on which you were born.

1. AMBITIOUS: Always ready for a fart.
2. LAZY: Just fizzles.
3. AMIABLE: Likes to smell others farts.
4. SELFISH: Only enjoys smelling his own farts.
5. CARELESS: Farts in church.
6. SMART ALEC: Farts when ladies are present.
7. CLEVER: Farts and coughs at same time.
8. SCIENTIFIC: Bottles his farts.
9. ANTISOCIAL: One who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy.
10. FOOLISH: Farts and laughs.
11. SHY: Blushes even when he farts silently.
12. CONCIETED: Thinks he can fart loudest.
13. UNLUCKY: Tries to fart and shits pants.
14. TIMID: Jumps when he farts.
15. BEWILDERED: can't tell his own farts from others.
16. SLOVENLY: Farts and fizzles, rots his pants.
17. NERVOUS: Stops in middle of fart.
18. MISERABLE: Can't fart.
19. CONFUSED: Face looks so much like ass, farts don't know where to go.
20. GROUCH: Grumbles when ladies fart.
21. SNEAKY: Farts and blames it on the dog.
22. DISAPPOINTED: Their farts don?t stink.
23. FRESH GUY: Jumps in front of you and farts.
24. BIG BULLY: Farts louder than everyone else.
25. DELUDED: Enjoys all farts thinking they are his.
26. CUTE: Discovers from farts what others have eaten.
27. WISE: Farts and say's "Who in hell shat??"
28. DAMNED MEAN: Farts in bed and pulls covers over wife's head.
29. MUSICAL: Tenor or bass clear as a bell, smells like shit, sounds like hell.
30. DISHONEST: Farts and blames in on the hostess.
31. LIVELY GUY: Jumps in air, farts three times, kicks like hell simultaneously.

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Token Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 05:55 AM 7,021 tokens, 1.04 months wasted

26 cute discovers from farts what others have eaten. Egg farts are the worst! Thank you Bamber!

T.U.R.D. ( because I'm a stinker)

"We are just 3 little brain cells, trying to find our way in the world."

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likeaneagle Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 07:57 AM 14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

Comment in reply to Token's original comment

i giggle when i fart! i give myself away!

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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PorkCow Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 08:42 AM 88 tokens, 1.3 days wasted

30. Dishonest. I am NOT dishonest.. I admit to mine farts. Sometimes running away from them.

If at first you don't succeed.. quit.

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bkvestal Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 08:54 AM 7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted

17. NERVOUS: Stops in middle of fart. I don't think so.

I'm more like a combination of DAMN MEAN and SNEAKY, but don't have a dog to blame it on so I blame them on the wife.

(This comment was modified on Mar 07, 2007 08:57 AM)

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

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minodude Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 06:42 PM 19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to bkvestal's original comment

sneaky is fun

you do the old "i have to go to the bathroom", walk by the brother, and rip one in his face

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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bkvestal Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 11:59 PM 7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

I wished, I haven't seen my brother in 5 years.

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

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likeaneagle Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 07:59 PM 14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

Comment in reply to bkvestal's original comment

you mean bugger!!!!

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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Arch Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 09:56 AM 2,969 tokens, 1.61 weeks wasted

4. SELFISH: Only enjoys smelling his own farts.


I don't enjoy smelling any farts

Are "Toys r Us" in the ghetto called "We b Toys"?

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bkvestal Posted on Mar 08, 2007 at 12:00 AM 7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to Arch's original comment

I don't mine my own.

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

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alex657684 Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 12:05 PM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

31. LIVELY GUY: Jumps in air, farts three times, kicks like hell simultaneously.


False.......i can't jump and do anything simultaneously

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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likeaneagle Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 08:03 PM 14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

my brother does that!!!!!then he blames me!

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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Arch Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 08:41 PM 2,969 tokens, 1.61 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to alex657684's original comment

That sounds like a gross finishing move for mortal kombat.

Are "Toys r Us" in the ghetto called "We b Toys"?

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alex657684 Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 08:44 PM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to Arch's original comment

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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videophotog Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 12:23 PM 17,534 tokens, 2.02 months wasted

1. AMBITIOUS: Always ready for a fart.

Pull my finger!

People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

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bkvestal Posted on Mar 08, 2007 at 12:01 AM 7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to videophotog's original comment

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

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Celeste Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 06:02 PM 939 tokens, 1.23 weeks wasted

7. CLEVER: Farts and coughs at same time.

Peace, Love and Cheesecake

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minodude Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 06:42 PM 19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to Celeste's original comment

are we twins?

i was born on the 7th

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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Celeste Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 06:48 PM 939 tokens, 1.23 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

Hmmmm Today is my birthday is it yours too??

Peace, Love and Cheesecake

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minodude Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 06:50 PM 19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to Celeste's original comment

nope, sorry

happy birthday!

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

Reply | Post New

Celeste Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 07:34 PM 939 tokens, 1.23 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

Thanks

Peace, Love and Cheesecake

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likeaneagle Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 08:08 PM 14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

Comment in reply to Celeste's original comment

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CELE

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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Celeste Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 09:57 PM 939 tokens, 1.23 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to likeaneagle's original comment

Thank You!!

Peace, Love and Cheesecake

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videophotog Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 09:23 PM 17,534 tokens, 2.02 months wasted

Comment in reply to Celeste's original comment

Hey Happy Birthday!!!

People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

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Celeste Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 09:58 PM 939 tokens, 1.23 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to videophotog's original comment

Thanks! I made it to 34 WooHoo

Peace, Love and Cheesecake

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Token Posted on Mar 08, 2007 at 06:13 AM 7,021 tokens, 1.04 months wasted

Comment in reply to Celeste's original comment

Happy Belated birthday! Hope it was a gas. Toot Toot!

T.U.R.D. ( because I'm a stinker)

"We are just 3 little brain cells, trying to find our way in the world."

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Bamber Posted on Mar 08, 2007 at 06:29 AM 13,293 tokens, 1.93 months wasted

Comment in reply to Celeste's original comment

I blame the time difference, really. Happy birthday!

---

The following image was attached:

Usquequaque in fimus, tantum sublimitas varius.

Youth passes, but with luck immaturity can last a lifetime.

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bkvestal Posted on Mar 08, 2007 at 12:03 AM 7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

7th of what?









text

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

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minodude Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 06:43 PM 19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

7. Clever

i actually burp and fart at the same time, just to see if i can

i once yawned, burped, and farted at the same time

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

Reply | Post New

bkvestal Posted on Mar 08, 2007 at 12:04 AM 7,417 tokens, 2.67 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

Multi-tasking, huh?

"She offered her honor, he honored her offer, all night long he was honor and
offer"

President of the Pacific Northwest Chapter of the NSBAPOI Club

Member in good standing with T. U. R. D. club

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likeaneagle Posted on Mar 07, 2007 at 08:11 PM 14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

20 grouch! i think ite extremely funny when a lady lets rip!

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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