Fourth Place :
>>>> A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby, and as he does, his elbow
>>>>goes
>>>>into her breast.
>>>>They are both quite startled.
>>>>The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
>>>>breast, I know you'll forgive me."
>>>>She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
>>>>
>>>>***
>>>>Third Place :
>>>>One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
>>>>his
>>>>wife's arm.
>>>>The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey, I've got a
>>>>gynecologist
>>>>appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
>>>>The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back
>>>>over
>>>>and taps his wife again.
>>>>"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
>>>>***
>>>>Runner Up:
>>>>Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
>>>>number of
>>>>years.
>>>>One day he came home to confess to his wife that he had a terrible
>>>>compulsion.
>>>>He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
>>>>His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it,
>>>>but
>>>>Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the
>>>>compulsion
>>>>on his own.
>>>>One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at
>>>>once
>>>>that something was seriously wrong.
>>>>What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
>>>>"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put
>>>>my
>>>>penis into the pickle slicer?"
>>>>"Oh, Bill, you didn't," she exclaimed.
>>>>"Yes, I did." he replied.
>>>>"My God, Bill, what happened?"
>>>>"I got fired."
>>>>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
>>>>"Oh...she got fired too."
>>>>***
>>>>Winner:
>>>>A couple had been married for 50 years.
>>>>They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife
says,
>>>>"Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast
>>>>table
>>>>together."
>>>>"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as
>>>>jaybirds fifty years ago."
>>>>"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
>>>>Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
>>>>"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,
>>>>"My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
>>>>"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
>>>>"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
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