Baywatch star David Hasselhoff wanders into a Glasgow boozer and the barmans says: "what can I get you, Mr Hasselhoff?"
"A cold beer would be great," he replies "but please, just call me hoff."
"okay Hoff," says the barman,
"nae Hassel."
And talking of pubs ... here are four things that are very difficult to say when you're drunk:
A) Specificity
B) British Constitution
C) Passive-aggressive disorder
D) Transsubstantiate
And here are five things that are absolutely impossible to say when you're drunk:
A) Thanks for the offer but I dont want to sleep with you.
B) Nope, no more booze for me. I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
C) look, mate I've told you. I'm not interested in a fight.
D)No way, I could'nt nobody want to hear me sing.
E)Where's the nearest public lavatory? I absolutley refuse to pee in the street.
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Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods
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