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Complaints
12 comments | Posted by hunnybunny 41 months ago

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These are (I am told!) genuine clips from council complaint letters:

1.. It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow.

2.. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.

3.. I wish to complain that my father burnt his ankle very badly when
he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4.. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.

5.. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet
roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6..My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7.. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8.. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9.. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10.. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50%
are plain filthy.

11.. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

12.. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13..Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour and not fit to drink.

14..Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15..I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every
morning at6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

16..The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.

17..Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like
a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

18..I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19..Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
satisfy my wife.

20.. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21.. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we
can't get BBC2.

22.. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage
has fungus growing in it.

23..He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
just can't take it anymore.

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MRB
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 09:01 AM
1,252 tokens, 2.18 days wasted

LMAO can you imagine getting letters like these at work. would you be able to take them seriously?? i wouldnt

this user does not have a signature

i dont suffer from insanity. i enjoy every minute of it.

Why r we dying to live if we are just living to die? (Tupac n Biggie Runnin)

dont worry to much about life no one gets out alive.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on

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OrangeJuice
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 09:23 AM
1,513 tokens, 1.73 weeks wasted

Lmao!!

Bet they keep it for bad work days to cheer them up

"Blessed is the man who expects nothing,
for he shall never be disappointed"
-- Alexander Pope

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hunnybunny
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 10:11 AM
8,950 tokens, 3.24 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to OrangeJuice's original comment

lol i know i would, we have a teacher that works here and he said you would'nt believe some of the notes sent in by parents, there just as bad as above lol

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is
a husband.

http://www.myspace.com/donna28

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konifur
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 10:08 AM
26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted

And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.

i think thats wishful thinking.

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

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Phoenix_84
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 11:03 AM
2,201 tokens, 1.47 weeks wasted

2.. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.

OMFG

10.. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50%
are plain filthy.

well, some one failed math in school.

14..Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces

maybe he should go back to kindergarten..

18..I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

tell him no and cross your legs

22.. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage
has fungus growing in it.

Condoms are your friends.........

Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, for You are Crunchy and Taste Good with
Ketchup

Veni, Veni, Dormivi!

Licetne mihi ambulare ad latrinam?

I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers
on your right hand?

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MRB
Posted on Oct 04, 2006 at 03:40 AM
1,252 tokens, 2.18 days wasted

Comment in reply to Phoenix_84's original comment

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Lisa01
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 12:13 PM
51 tokens, 3.62 days wasted

absolutely brilliant

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minodude
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 06:08 PM
19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

#10. could work

if some of the walls have 2 or 3 things, like a wall that is damp and peeling

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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Monkey
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 06:28 PM
9,202 tokens, 3.62 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to minodude's original comment

Perhaps she should have included a chart with Boolean Circles.

Wealth ≠ Intelligence

Official Short Bus Handler

The True Warrior is one who conquers oneself

Heaven is having sex all the time and not needing Kleenex or coat hangers.

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minodude
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 07:26 PM
19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to Monkey's original comment

a venn diagram

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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Explodnation
Posted on Oct 03, 2006 at 08:36 PM
1,697 tokens, 6.58 days wasted

# 10 50% 50% 50% One of my friend still claims that to this day he is half german half italian and half french no joke

right when i found the meaning of life they changed it

www.myspace.com/107359719

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alex657684
Posted on Oct 04, 2006 at 03:42 PM
11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

21.. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

I didn't know BBC2 was that important. Is it better than BBC1? I remember some Monty python sketches about that.

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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