Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
>movie?
>
> They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
> ***************
>
> Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
>
> She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was
>Chinese.
> ***************
> Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
>
> There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the
>escalators
> for over four hours
>
> *****************
>
> A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really
>bad
> hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took
>it to a
> repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
>decided have some fun.
>
> He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard,
>and all the dents would pop out.
> So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
>started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
>harder, and still nothing happened.
>
> Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you
>doing?"
>
> The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to
>blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
>
> The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to
>roll up the windows first."
>
> ****************
>
> A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
>The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while
>covering the right eye.
>
> The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye
>doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through,
>covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.
>
> As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her
>face.
>
> "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about
>getting glasses."
>
> "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire
>frames."
>
> ***************
> A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
>thermos.
> She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it
>over to the clerk to ask what it was.
>
> The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and
>some things cold."
>
> "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So
>she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
>
> Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.
> "Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things
>cold," she replied.
>
> Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
>
> The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".
>
> ***************
> A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
>balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The
>puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
>
> Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf
>balls."
>
> Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
>finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does
>it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
>
> ******************
> This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around.
>
> This should make all you technologically challenged people feel
>GOOD:
>
>
> A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie,
>something nice
> for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell
>phone.
> He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
>
> Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new
>phone.
>
> The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
>astonishment,
> it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do
>you like your new phone?"
>
> Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is
>clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."
>
> "What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
>
> "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
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