These Remedies Are Great 12 comments | Posted by bulldozer 45 months ago

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1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know
when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

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videophotog Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 03:08 AM 17,534 tokens, 2.02 months wasted

So many pleasant thoughts have come to memory with this post. I had an impacted tooth last week, Ihink I could have hit all the fingers on my hand with a hammer and my tooth would have still hurt!

"Everyone seems normal until you get to know them" think of that when you see a hot chick on any posting! Chances are they are available for a reason!

People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

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konifur Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 03:22 AM 26,616 tokens, 1.6 months wasted

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
MY WIFE WILL GO APE SHIT IF SHE CAUGHT ME TAKING A DUMP IN THE SINK!!!!

hey! it wasn`t me!

forgive me i am discombobulated again.

i would not like be a member of a club who would have me as a member...Groucho
Marks.

T.U.R.D. (because I'm a farter)

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mellowkat Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 03:42 AM 881 tokens, 1.68 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to konifur's original comment

Dont you leave the toilet seat down to take a dump???

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in
Australia. And if you give me any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small
hours and put a bat up your night dress!

http://spaces.msn.com/mellowkat/

http://profile.myspace.com/mellow_kat

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SaintJimmy Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 03:54 AM 692 tokens, 4.54 days wasted

what's a wd-40??

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minodude Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 05:09 AM 19,484 tokens, 3.85 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to SaintJimmy's original comment

ever seen Spy Hard?

agent WD-40, dick steele

OMG one of the funniest movies of all time, it has the airplane humor, but put into the james bond theme. so f-in funny

WATCH IT NOW

but in reality, WD-40 is a spray that slicks up hinges so doors and stuff move easier on the hinges

(This comment was modified on Jun 18, 2006 05:10 AM)

Just Kidding!!

Watching professional fishing on TV is just watching a bunch of master baiters
hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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viktoria_ja Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 04:10 AM 1,028 tokens, 2.9 days wasted

be nice to your kids someone will choose your nursing home !

Nude, Tattooed, & Sweet as Hell

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alex657684 Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 12:11 PM 11,788 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

the WD-40 and duct tape is a cardinal rule of living......

Hey! Hier kommt Alex
Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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Gatorbait Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 01:37 PM 4,255 tokens, 2.9 weeks wasted

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

...or sneeze, or laugh, or even breathe hard

I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant.

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x_cUtIe_x Posted on Jun 18, 2006 at 11:45 PM 1,617 tokens, 2.07 days wasted

Lol,that's a good one!

~*~How about never...is never good for you~*~


You're just mad because the little voices talk to me!!!

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kirby Posted on Jun 19, 2006 at 03:49 AM 1,533 tokens, 6.2 days wasted

LMFAO!!! Those r good. Have anymore!!!!!!!!!1

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be
changed regularly and for the same reason.

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Phoenix_84 Posted on Jun 19, 2006 at 09:52 AM 2,201 tokens, 1.47 weeks wasted

this smells suspiciously like a repost to me, but i could just as easily have seen it on another site

Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, for You are Crunchy and Taste Good with
Ketchup

Veni, Veni, Dormivi!

Licetne mihi ambulare ad latrinam?

I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers
on your right hand?

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bwjtx Posted on Jun 19, 2006 at 09:57 AM 1,665 tokens, 5.61 days wasted

# 8..... Aint it Great !

There is No Business Like SHOW BUSINESS........Be Careful what you wish
For......Get Er DONE......Be Thankful for what you have....The only real success
is when you keep trying to not fail ......Give a man the benefit of the doubt
....you never know what the whole picture is .....GOD IS GREAT !

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