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Lawyers Are The Scum Of The Earth!
11 comments | Posted by petergriffin 35 months ago
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It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

The following are this year's candidates:

1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

4. A. Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 a! after she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

6. A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, $780,000 after breaking her ankle by tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

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View Profile for DEEDEEDEEDEE
Posted on Apr 30, 2006 at 10:27 PM
1,944 tokens, 5.73 days wasted
Wow. That is amazing. Where did you get all these facts? are you a lawyer?

Blessed are the flexible, for they will not get bent out of shape.

 
View Profile for petergriffinpetergriffin
Posted on Apr 30, 2006 at 11:54 PM
826 tokens, 4.18 days wasted
Comment in reply to DEEDEE's original comment

ebaumsworld.com

it is better to be judged by 12 than to be carried by 6.

http://www.gooogIe.co.uk/?gid=66324&hl=en&meta=o&q=petergriffin%20is%20a%20fuc
king%20loser






 
View Profile for DEEDEEDEEDEE
Posted on May 01, 2006 at 12:15 AM
1,944 tokens, 5.73 days wasted
Comment in reply to petergriffin's original comment

Cool. Thanks man.

Blessed are the flexible, for they will not get bent out of shape.

 
View Profile for petergriffinpetergriffin
Posted on May 01, 2006 at 01:11 AM
826 tokens, 4.18 days wasted
Comment in reply to DEEDEE's original comment

no prob

it is better to be judged by 12 than to be carried by 6.

http://www.gooogIe.co.uk/?gid=66324&hl=en&meta=o&q=petergriffin%20is%20a%20fuc
king%20loser






 
View Profile for OrangeJuiceOrangeJuice
Posted on May 01, 2006 at 10:20 AM
1,513 tokens, 1.73 weeks wasted
Well, what can I say.... Only in America!
Not trying to offened, but Im glad Im not living there and I never plan to.

"Blessed is the man who expects nothing,
for he shall never be disappointed"
-- Alexander Pope

 
View Profile for petergriffinpetergriffin
Posted on May 01, 2006 at 04:40 PM
826 tokens, 4.18 days wasted
Comment in reply to OrangeJuice's original comment

yeah i wanna move to canada

it is better to be judged by 12 than to be carried by 6.

http://www.gooogIe.co.uk/?gid=66324&hl=en&meta=o&q=petergriffin%20is%20a%20fuc
king%20loser






 
View Profile for stutterflystutterfly
Posted on May 01, 2006 at 09:26 PM
628 tokens, 1.5 days wasted
*GASP* my friend's a lawyer!!!!



I totally agree lol

il ove cho.co.lat[e]

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...../_==o;;;;;;;;_____.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
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...//___//
..//___//
bang bang

 
View Profile for hunnybunnyhunnybunny
Posted on May 03, 2006 at 09:50 AM
8,950 tokens, 3.24 weeks wasted
LAWERS LAWERS its bloody money grabbing people thats the problem these days

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is
a husband.


http://www.myspace.com/donna28

 
View Profile for petergriffinpetergriffin
Posted on May 03, 2006 at 08:30 PM
826 tokens, 4.18 days wasted
Comment in reply to hunnybunny's original comment

yes but if it wasnt for the lawyers it wouldnt be possaible for them to get the money

it is better to be judged by 12 than to be carried by 6.

http://www.gooogIe.co.uk/?gid=66324&hl=en&meta=o&q=petergriffin%20is%20a%20fuc
king%20loser






 
View Profile for hunnybunnyhunnybunny
Posted on May 04, 2006 at 09:33 AM
8,950 tokens, 3.24 weeks wasted
Comment in reply to petergriffin's original comment

I do see what you are saying but if people were not so money grabbing these days the lawers would'nt be needed

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is
a husband.


http://www.myspace.com/donna28

 
View Profile for MonkeyMonkey
Posted on May 04, 2006 at 11:03 AM
9,202 tokens, 3.62 weeks wasted
Sometimes lawyers can be your best friend.

Wealth ≠ Intelligence

Official Short Bus Handler

The True Warrior is one who conquers oneself

Heaven is having sex all the time and not needing Kleenex or coat hangers.

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