these were so funny

Wow interesting little known facts,cool....................

"6% propose over the phone."

"Yeah, so couldja pick up some parsley and chex mix on your way home. I just love chex mix. By the way, you wanna get married? Great..."

Wow.....I just love useless facts (there's no sarcasm there...I really do). I didn't realize just how "abnormal" I really am.

REALLY REALLY LONG!!!!!!!! how long did it take for you to type all of those. It would have taken me a week. Literally!!!!!!!!!!!!

85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear.
I do.

67.5% of men wear briefs.
I do.

50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
Yep.

90% believe in divine retribution.
What the hell is that?

10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
I think so. Don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you.

82% believe in an afterlife.
Yes and no.

45% believe in ghosts.
Iffy on this one too.

29% of us are virgins when we marry.
Ok. Liars. No way is 29% of the population into D&D.

58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.
Not once.

40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
Great. Not from me though. Its been the better part of a decade since I set foot in that place.

315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
God damn hippies.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
I'm pretty sure most of us feel that way at one point or another in our lives.

35% give to charity at least once a month.
You mean Charity Winslow down on 153rd Street? Yeah I give it to her a few times per month.

69% eat the cake before the frosting.
Is this some sort of sexual innuendo? If so, then yes I do this too.

When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
Not here.

85% of us will eat Spam this year.
The hell I will. I have never eaten it. I refuse it. I deny its existence.

70% of us drink orange juice daily.
OJ gives me the shits. That and hes one VLABM. I don't want my head cut off.

Snickers is the most popular candy.
They're good. I prefer M&M's.

22% of us skip lunch daily.
Never. I eat 5-7 times per day.

9% of us skip breakfast daily.
Look up.

66% of us eat cereal regularly.
Every morning. Shredded Wheat. I hate it, but I have to eat it.

22% of all restaurant meals include French fries.
I prefer the fries from steak houses. They tend to be home made, and they will boil the potatoes first to give them a fluffier, lighter texture when fried.

14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.
I hate watermelon. Almost as much as I hate kids. Kids and watermelon together make me want to start WWIII.

Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
My hygenist told me side to side is better than up and down. Up and down can cause too much gum stimulation which can lead to gum recession.

45% use mouthwash every day.
I enjoy it, but rarely use it. Love that burning sensation in my mouth. Better there than on Sgt. Love.

29% of us ignore RSVP.
I like my appearances stealthy like a ninja. You never know when I'm gonna appear.

71.6% of us eavesdrop.
Every chance I get. I've picked up on peoples personal information that I can use against them later just by keeping my mouth shut and ears open.

Less than 10% are trilingual.
I use my tongue for talking, oral sex, and to facillitate eating.

37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
Open the damn manual and you can boast 100%

53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
Tellers are morons.

56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
Damn right.

2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks.
Thats because no one has ever, or probably will ever, offer them $1,000,000 for a night with the spouse. Money talks bullshit walks.

44% reuse tinfoil.
I don't know anyone that has used tinfoil since the mid 70's. Its almost all aluminum now, save for a few industrial purposes.

57% save pretty gift paper to reuse.
I refuse gifts that look pretty, unless she's got big jugs.

53% read their horoscopes regularly.
Waste of my time.

16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary.
I have it engraved on the inside of my wedding ring.

59% of us say we're average-looking.
Same here. I'm nothing special.

90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.
My alarm clock has big boobs. The snooze alarm has a cold wet nose and brown fur.

28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.
That means that 1/2 of them are gay cowboys.
I'll be part of the 72% that doesn't like the idea of being naked in strange waters with strange creatures swimming about my flaccid poop root.

51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
I did 2 time since I turned 21. Best nights of my life.

On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
I hate Christmas cards. OH IM THINKING OF YOU BLAH BLAH! How about send me something nice in the middle of august.

20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.
Parents and children should be best friends. I'd have it no other way.

2 out of 5 have married their first love.
Huh?

Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand.
I'm not even going to take the time to write the story behind this boondoggle.

1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
Its so passe.

6% propose over the phone.
Never heard of that.

71% can drive a stick-shift car.
Since I was 12.

45% of us consistently follow the speed limit.
May as well. A $100 speeding ticket is alot worse than being late to an appointment.

2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.
Not a good idea unless you are inside the solid white lines at the intersection. If there is someone in a wheel chair crossing the street, do it no matter what.

1/3 of us don't wear seat belts.
I have since I was old enough to sit in a car.

62% of us pop our zits.
They're gross. Why wouldn't we?

33% of women lie about their weight.
Thats only because they can't accuritely see the scale, and/ or, the scale just keeps winding and winding until it pops. Walmart has scales into the 400lb range or more. We use them at the shop to estimate shipping on large shipments.

10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.
I don't know what I've seen. Can't say it was a ghost, can't say it was my imagination.

Only 30% of us know our cholesterol level.
I don't. And thats sad.

14% have attended a self-help meeting.
God damn hippies.

15% regularly go to a shrink.
I've done it. I'd do it now if I had the cash. Just don't go to some stupid new age hippy shrink.

78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.
Yep.

I'm tired.

OMG you stole this from me!!!! WTF

LMFAO!!!!!!
sOME OF THAT IS SO FUNNY

I have to disagree with a lot of these, 'statistics' are mostly rhetoric anyway...