Wordperfect Customer Support

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Wordperfect Customer Support
12 comments | Posted by mellowkat 38 months ago

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This is a true story from the WordPerfect Help Desk. Needless to say the employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Woorganization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual recorded dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support

-"(employee name); may I help you?"
-"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
-"What sort of trouble?"
-"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
-"Went away?"
-"They disappeared."
-"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
-"Nothing."
-"Nothing?"
-"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
-"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
-"How do I tell?"
-"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
-"What's a sea-prompt?"
-"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
-"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
-"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
-"What's a monitor?"
-"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that -tells you when it's on?"
-"I don't know."
-"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
-"Yes, I think so."
-"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
-".......Yes, it is."
-"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
-"No."
-"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
-"....... Okay, here it is."
-"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
-"I can't reach."
-"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
-"No."
-"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
-"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
-"Dark?"
-"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
-"Well, turn on the office light then."
-"I can't."
-"No? Why not?"
-"Because there's a power outage."
-"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
-"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
-"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
-"Really? Is it that bad?"
-"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
-"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
-"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."

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wanna_cookie
Posted on Feb 02, 2006 at 03:27 AM
1,916 tokens, 5.26 days wasted

that sounds like something i would do

save the chief

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Dugunz
Posted on Feb 02, 2006 at 08:52 AM
289 tokens, 2.51 days wasted

i dont know if that was a true story, but it was funny

Freinds: will bail you out of jail------Your best freinds: Will be sitting in
jail next to you saying {Damn she didnt look like a cop}

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alex657684
Posted on Feb 02, 2006 at 10:47 AM
11,787 tokens, 2.64 weeks wasted

Heard it somewhere else a long time ago, but still funny as hell

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Vorhang auf fur seine Horrorshow

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minodude
Posted on Feb 02, 2006 at 11:10 AM
19,406 tokens, 3.62 weeks wasted

i got to the power outage, and i thought that the clerk was gonna be dumb too

great joke

Just Kidding!!

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hold their rods

Politics is just a bunch of mass debators in one room

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TacoMan5000
Posted on Feb 02, 2006 at 02:16 PM
1,201 tokens, 6.6 days wasted

oh man that was great. the worker should be given a cookie or something.

Ego velle conspicari Tartarus.

"Teach us that wealth is not elegance, that profusion is not magnificence,
that splendor is not beauty."-Benjamin Disraeli

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Wolf
Posted on Feb 02, 2006 at 03:49 PM
575 tokens, 3.05 days wasted

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onechaos
Posted on Feb 02, 2006 at 05:00 PM
603 tokens, 1.26 weeks wasted

Nope sorry, not quite a true story. A good one yes, but it's fiction built on truth. Seen it often and as usual snopes has the skinny...

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordpe rf.htm

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"I do too!"

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cnype
Posted on Feb 02, 2006 at 07:48 PM
277 tokens, 1.36 days wasted

I once went into an apartment cause a lady was complaining that she didnt have any heat. So I had a look at the furnace and before I went to work on it I went to the circuit breaker box to cut off the power. I noticed that the power was ALREADY turned off... to the heater and the washing machine and most of the lights and air conditioning and fridge. I said to her that she had to have the power on for the heat to work, and she asked me "Well, which ones can I turn off then?". I was like "What? Don't turn any of them off!" Yup.. after that adventure I can truly say I've seen it all.

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