Actual Directions On Products

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Actual Directions On Products
13 comments | Posted by joe 55 months ago

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These are actual directions found on certain products around the
world!

1. Directions found on a bag of frito corn chips.
"You could be a winner!!! No purchase neccessary!!! Details
inside!"
you think to your self (Shoplifters special)

2. On Tesco's Tiramisu Desert (directions on bottom)
"Do not turn upside down"
(Too late)

3. On Marks & Spncers Bread Pudding.
"Product will be hot after heating"
(Just as day follows night)

4. On most kinds of christmas lights.
"Indoor and outdoor uses ONLY"
(As opposed to what now?)

5. On Sainsbury's peanuts.
"WARNING CONTAINS NUTS!!!"
(Talk about your news flash)

6. Found on an American Airlines Packet of peanuts.
"Step One: Open packet. Step two: Eat nuts."
You think to your self (Step three: Fly Delta)

7. On a sweedish chinsaw.
"Warning! PLease do not try to stop with hands or
genitals!!"
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere!My GOD!)

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Sarah
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 02:04 AM
11,949 tokens, 2.26 months wasted

They make these directions because there are fools that actually do those things.
What is the world coming to when you actually have to tell someone not to stop a chainsaw with your genitals.

I don't hang out here much anymore...

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nos_slived
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 02:27 AM
644 tokens, 4.85 days wasted

Comment in reply to Sarah's original comment

So I wasn't thinking when I tried it, do you people have to keep critising me for it! I thought genetals could stop a saw, so sue me!

The NOS Man

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XChristineX
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 02:30 AM
303 tokens, 2.01 days wasted

Comment in reply to nos_slived's original comment

My ♥ belongs to Trey

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Sarah
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 07:33 PM
11,949 tokens, 2.26 months wasted

Comment in reply to nos_slived's original comment

I don't hang out here much anymore...

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hunnybunny
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 06:20 AM
8,950 tokens, 3.24 weeks wasted

Comment in reply to Sarah's original comment

Worlds full of morons !!!!!!!!!!

Trying to stop a chainsaw with genitals LOFL somebody must have done it to be mentioned

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is
a husband.

http://www.myspace.com/donna28

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aph21
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 08:30 AM
9,898 tokens, 2.84 months wasted

Comment in reply to hunnybunny's original comment

I do it all the time, piece of cake. lol

The due date for the new addition is July 10th of 2009!

I'm getting too old for this kid thing...

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Sarah
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 07:34 PM
11,949 tokens, 2.26 months wasted

Comment in reply to hunnybunny's original comment

Seems like a drastic thing to do to get mentioned.

I don't hang out here much anymore...

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Trevor_BMPD
Posted on Sep 02, 2005 at 08:22 PM
926 tokens, 5.71 days wasted

Comment in reply to Sarah's original comment

So some asshole hillbilly neutered himself trying to stop a chainsaw with his manhood?

"I'm Horatio Caine and this I know, at CSI: Miami we never close."

"The shit hit the fan."

http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Squall780

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likeaneagle
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 06:29 PM
14,686 tokens, 2.06 months wasted

peanuts are not nuts they're a legume!

swamp witch magic was useful and good and we're gunna bring hattie back!!

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TacoMan5000
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 09:49 PM
1,201 tokens, 6.6 days wasted

i read about something like the chainsaw thing once. some dude was jerking off on the assembly line and put his junk on the conveyer belt to 'add to the sensation'.i think they got torn off.

Ego velle conspicari Tartarus.

"Teach us that wealth is not elegance, that profusion is not magnificence,
that splendor is not beauty."-Benjamin Disraeli

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Monkey
Posted on Sep 01, 2005 at 11:26 PM
9,202 tokens, 3.62 weeks wasted

This was on the instruction sheet that came with me 30 years ago: Do not attempt to keep away from hot women. More like don't attempt to keep hot women away from me.

Wealth ≠ Intelligence

Official Short Bus Handler

The True Warrior is one who conquers oneself

Heaven is having sex all the time and not needing Kleenex or coat hangers.

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