The sun will come out tomorrow
At 6:47am EST

Step on a crack'
walk on an uneven surface


Snug as a bug in a rug
On Burt Reynolds head

When in Rome
Take some pictures

It is more better to give than to receive
Is a total lie





Fun, I gotta think of some more

Early to bed,
Early to rise,
Makes a man
miss the Conan O'Brien Show.

If the shoe fits,
Buy it in black, brown, and navy.



(Most fun weblog!!!)

Keep your friends close,
preferably chained to a wall in your basement.

A bird in the hand
could be a tasty snack if you're a cat.

If a job's worth doing,
you can probably pay someone to do it for you.

No pain, just use painkillers.

There's a time and place for doing the mambo.

Blood is thicker then blueberry juice.

All roads lead to Las Vegas.

When the cat's away, I've got no-one to hug.

Lightning never strikes twice in the same place, unless you're really, really unlucky.

Money is the root of 2.

Don't cry over spilt milk
DO cry over a spilt $12 Margarita.


Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he buys a bunch of expensive equipment, wants to finance a boat, and calls in sick to work a lot.

A rolling stone gathers
a lot of royalty checks.

I love you guys.

I had no intentions of this weblog doing much, and LO AND BEHOLD I'VE GOT DIET PEPSI FOAMING OUT MY NOSE AND I'M CHOKING ON IT!


If the shoe fits,
find the other one.

6 on one hand
means your mom is your cousin

It's not if you win or loose
It's who you sleep with after the game.
or..
It's not if you win or loose
However, no one wants to sleep with a loser.

You give some people an inch
they still ask if it's big enough.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em
know when to zip up and get the hell outta there!

A penny saved
is still 99,999,999 pennies short of a million bucks.

Behind every great man there's a
paper trail of alimony checks

Never bite the hand that feeds you
Unless you're into that.


A chain is only as strong as
the government contract that built it.

One should have both eyes open before marriage, and
both eyes open while sleeping with a hammer under your pillow after marriage.

Sticks and stones will break my bones, and the pending lawsuit will ruin you.

If it first you don't succeed,
Pay someone to do it.

Give a man a fish, and he knows who to come to if he wants to buy a fish.
Teach a man to fish, and you've destroyed your entire market base.

Learn from that.

guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early kill people